


Busy with Robo Fizzi

by IrisoPage



Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reader has a Penis, male reader - Freeform, one joking use of the word Daddy, reader bottoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisoPage/pseuds/IrisoPage
Summary: Congratulations of the purchase of your new Robo Fizz Personal Companion!Reader gets busy with their new clown doll.
Relationships: Robo Fizz (Helluva Boss)/Reader, Robo Fizz/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 125





	Busy with Robo Fizzi

**Author's Note:**

> Helluva Boss gift wrapped us a character that's a literal sex toy and I'm the first to post that trope? For shame~  
> Maybe one day I'll come back and edit this, but I felt like posting it while Robo Fizz is the newest sexyman ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

"Congratulations on the purchase of your new Robo Fizz Personal Companion. Your Robo Fizz is here to serve you whenever, wherever, and whatever. You won't find quality pleasure like this anywhere else on the market!

Mammon Enterprises and The Loo Loo Land Corporation are not responsible for any injuries, dismemberment, or inability to dislodge genitalia from the companion. All sales final."

_ Well, that was comforting. _

Your 'personal companion' took all day to set up.

He  _ may  _ have been somewhat of an impulse buy. The kind of sex toy that you purchase at three in the morning when you just  _ cannot  _ get off and all of your self restraint jumps out the window.

You  _ considered  _ just hitting up a hooker, with it being Hell and all, nobody would care if you did, but you got a case of  _ 'performance anxiety'  _ and decided this was a better course of action.

It took a bit of humming and hawing to actually convince yourself to actually build the damn thing, but you spent money on it, so you might as well see if it actually works.

You decided it would be in your best interest to actually skim through the manual while he booted up. You plunk yourself down next to the box and bury your nose in the pamphlet as you read through it.

Robo Fizz definitely had an impressive array of features, as he was built for both giving and receiving. The company must have wanted to make sure their bases were covered.

He had a warming feature, could hold up to one liter of lube at a time and contained an easy to remove disposal unit for any 'fluids' he might swallow.

You read a few of the more questionable ones out loud, to make sure you were actually reading them correctly.

"'Your Robo Fizz' limbs can extend up to thirty five feet. He never chafes, and only strangles if you ask him to.'" 

You decide to skip over any of the heavy BDSM settings for now, figuring you would hold off on anything heavy until he proved he could actually get you off.

While you were busy scanning through the vibration features, (what the hell was 'Bulldoze' mode?) you hadn't noticed that your new consort had started to move around.

You're so engrossed with reading about his 'real tentacle action,' you don't even notice the classic jester jingle jangle noises while he waves a hand in your direction.

Robo Fizz lets out a robotic yawn, sound rather bored while you're still mumbling your technical talk.

"...dot dot dot… ribbed for your pleasure…" You wouldn't expect anything less than textured, but that still left an important detail to be answered. "I wonder how much this thing is actually packing…"

_ "How big do you want it?" _

You stumble back in surprise at the sudden voice interrupting your 'research.'

While you're stuck on the floor, your inamorato towers over your startled frame, making you about crotch height and giving you a decent view of what you paid for.

_ "Are you just going to sit there and stare at me, or do you want me to drop 'em already?" _

The manual didn't say anything about him being so…  _ chatty. _

"Excuse me?" You ask, trying to collect your thoughts while the realization of what you were actually doing started to set in.

"Do we really need to do this whole introduction thing? You already knew what you were buying, so you might as well skip the formalities and get right to stripping." He sounds absolutely delighted by the idea as he wiggles with anticipation.

You try to come up with an answer to his rhetorical question, but you don't get very far when he interrupts you again.

"Don't tell me you only bought me because you're sad and lonely and hopelessly into clowns." He swoons dramatically. "I may be waterproof, but don't go crying all over me now."

"Hey! I'm not sad and lonely!" You snap, choosing to defend the former accusations and not the latter.

"Which parts should I start lubing up then?" He makes a fisting motion to emphasize his point.

"Well, I…" You start, only causing the clown to frown and roll his eyes. "I'm not just going to jump right into things. Putting you together wasn't exactly my form of foreplay, y'know?"

"Well, you really  _ turned me on."  _ The clown winks, and you swear the sound of a rimshot played over his speakers.

"You really don't shut up, do you?"

"Official Robo Fizz Ball Gag; Sold Separately." He answers, half advertising and half being a smartass.

"You're not exactly helping to set the mood here." You cross your arms and glare up at the glorified circus sex doll.

"If you wanted scented candles and mood lighting, that'll cost you extra." He shoots a fingergun your way before turning his back to you. "Let me know when you're done being a pussy and you're actually ready to  _ get  _ some pussy."

You weren't going to let some clown just walk all over you like that. Especially not a literal clown!

"You're the one who's the pussy pocket here, you metal scrapheap!" 

His head turns one-eighty to look at you before the rest of his body follows.

_ "Now we're actually getting somewhere."  _ He rubs his metallic hands together, starting to get a hungry look in his eyes.  _ "Tell me more." _

You're confused by the sudden request, wondering if you accidentally activated some sort of 'berate me' function.

"You want to put me in my place, do ya?" He leans down closer to you, trying to coax more attitude out of you.

"This is the weirdest sexual experience I've ever had." You shake your head in disbelief, debating on if you should actually go through with this or just meet up with your left hand again.

_ "You're just now realizing this?"  _

He had a point.

"You know what you're into, I'm here for you to  _ get into _ , might as well try me on already." His voice purrs as his arms stretch around you.  _ "It'd make you less grating to…" _

"I  _ guess  _ I should at least get my money's worth…" Either way, you were stuck with this thing, so you might as well play nice with it.

"That's the spirit,  _ Daddy…."  _ He teases, just because he can.

"Don't push it." You shove him away and look at him inquisitively. "At least show me what's under the hood."

Your tinkertoy strips with the confidence that he's done this a hundred times before, or at least, he's been programmed with that many in mind.

His chest has been fitted to look like an actual demon torso, complete with nipples and pectorals. A bright green heart sits above his pelvis, fitted with sensitive sensors to provide an extra erogenous zone for your electronic paramour.

He makes a show of running his spindly digits down his frame, teasing at his nipples and tracing a heart over his torso before his fingers reach the seam of his pants.

He separates the waistband from his hips, allowing them to drop to the floor all at once.

There were three ports that were yours for the taking, but once you caught a glimpse of that delicious candy cane cock, you decided you wanted to ride in style.

It was already pressurized and standing at attention, ribbed and textured for your pleasure. While it looks like the perfect penis conceptually, it was a bit on the small size for a perfect pleasure robot. You couldn't help but wonder if you missed out by not getting the premium package.

_ "You want it bigger?"  _ He asks, looking oh-so smug about it.

You were unsure if he could read your mind, or if you were just staring at his dick for much too long. 

"...Just a bit?" You offer sheepishly.

He pulls on his member and another ribbed segment slides out from the opening on his pelvis, adding another inch and making the base thicker than before.

"This more to your liking?" He offers as he gestures to his crotch with a flourish.

"Maybe just a  _ bit _ bigger?"

He jerks himself again, adding another two segments and becoming even more girthy.

"About this big." You hold your hands apart to show  _ exactly  _ how you wanted it.

Robo Fizz lets out a static filled snicker as he spreads his legs. "Coming right up."

If you weren't sold before, you would buy the whole lot after seeing this impressive display of equipment.

"See? Now ya love me." He sticks his tongue out as he sways his hips, purposely making his junk bounce. 

You could feel yourself heating up as you watched his performance, and he took notice of how your pants were tightening quite nicely.

_ "Where do you want me?" _

_ "Where do you think?" _ You mimic his tone, which only eggs him on further.

He saunters over to your bed, sticking his ass out as he splays across the mattress before he flips over onto his back.

He wasn't ribbed  _ only  _ for your pleasure, it also served a functional purpose.

The seams of the ridges flared open to allow his lubricant storage to evenly coat his entire member. Warmed, self lubricated, and ready for action at the drop of the hat.

_ "Take a seat and we can start the show."  _ He beckons you closer with a claw.

While you're certainly no burlesque show, you quickly discard your clothing on your way to the bed. 

His striped tongue slithers out of his mouth, curling in an almost prehensile manner. 

_ "Want a kiss, big boy?" _

You gladly accept his invitation, climbing onto the mattress and having it be your turn to tower over him, though he doesn't look nearly as intimidated. 

Your lips press against his colds ones, that intoxicatingly vile tongue quickly finding its way into your mouth as you seat yourself on his stomach.

The tip of his cock ruts against your opening, squirting out a precautionary dollop of lube as you grind against him.

You slowly sink yourself onto him as his arms twist around you. His thick shaft stretches you out, filling your needy hole. He allows you to set the pace, whether under his own or because of his ennobled dildo programming was a debate for another time.

You straighten yourself and hesitantly break the kiss as his length disappears inside you. 

While you rode him like you had entered the Kentucky derby, you started to notice your robot leaning closer to you. It was only when you felt a familiar wetness around your cock did you realize what he was doing.

He effortlessly swallows your member while you fuck yourself on him. His tongue was warm and his teeth just barely graze along your sensitive flesh. 

You could feel yourself coming undone once he started moaning around your cock. With the the pressure growing inside you from all sides, Robo Fizz makes one last effort to tease you before you finally blow your load.

_ "Come on. Cum on my face. You know you want to." _

Who are you to disappoint him?

He was machine washable anyway.


End file.
